August 2015 – charcot cha-cha

THE POWER OF NEEDING AND WANTING TO HELP OTHERS

This disability I am suffering has been a real eye opener. It has shown me that I am as independent and resourceful as I always knew I was…There is nothing I cannot do for myself if I want it bad enough and am very determined. I am always taken a bit back when I am out and about and someone (uninvitingly) offers to assist me. This will happen to me 3-4 times a day…almost at each stop on my errands. I always decline their help because the truth is I do not need their help. Truly, I’ve got the whipping the wheelchair in or out of the trunk down pat, and I am not a lazy person at all, so to sit back and let someone do the labor that I have no trouble doing myself is just…weird, to me. I think that expresses my feelings perfectly.

Occasionally I will seem to have hurt someones feelings by denying their help, like the gentleman today who kept insisting on helping me, whose efforts I rebuffed over and over. I felt as though perhaps I offended his sense of macho or something, by being a woman who clearly does not need the assistance of a man. I mean, that’s his issue, not mine. Right?

But then, later today, I had a bit of a revelation. I am not one bit above asking people for help if I want or need it…(I just rarely need it) I was in the grocery store, and I turned down the liquor isle, and I already knew that what I wanted was a can of beer on the highest shelf, and I didn’t want to have to brake the wheelchair and step up to try to reach it, so I checked out the bodies in the isle…I watched a few exit the end of the isle before I could get within asking distance…but there was a little gal in her short shorts, so I said “excuse me, could you help me?” She surprised me by being about 60, but what really surprised me was how THRILLED she seemed to assist me. I struggle to describe it really, because it’s almost embarrassing to realize, but she was nearly beside herself to have been able to give me a hand. I thanked her for her help, and she was like, no, thank YOU…it occurred to me then and there, that a lot of us tromp through life, and wish for something, anything, to give us a purpose, or a meaning, or a chance to be closer to God…and it is now my feeling that for some people, they really need to assist others, and if they don’t find that in their day, or life, it bums them out. Maybe that was why that woman was so grateful to help me…she was in a deficit of assist, and was so relieved I came along!

Perhaps I shall make an effort to allow people to help me, even though I do not need or require it, just so as I can allow them to fullfill their need to help others. It will be very hard for me to overcome my standard “Oh no, I’m fine, thanks!” reply…but I can see now that it is a way of sharing love for humans, and sharing this love makes this world a whole lot better, doesn’t it!!??

THE WALKER TENNIS BALL BLUES….

Tennis balls on walkers…

Ok….back home, great! But my walker tends to make some loud noises I do not want it to make! At my folks house, it tended to make some snorking noises the first few feet from their master bath, and then it would stop…..but back at the condo it is doing it Every. Other. Step! I abhor making loud noises of any kind, so it is utterly horrifying to me! So, have to kill that sh*t right away! I bought some tennis balls, in the hope that this is the secret to squelching this annoying sound, and proceeded to watch some Youtube video’s on how to put tennis balls on walker feet. What a JOKE! Not one video mentioned how totally hard it is to get the dang ball over the end of the walker foot. NOT ONE! It’s all about “cut an X in the tennis ball, and insert onto the end of your walker foot”…..like it was a breezy walk in a park! No no, let’s get real now;…you need 4 hands, so you can open the tennis ball in the opposite direction it was designed, two hands for East and West, and two more for North and South…and then whilst you have all these flaps (that you cut) open, quickly try to make an attempt to shove the entire affair over the end of your walker foot! Oh wait, you need a fifth hand for that…but, Quick, quick! Oh, did you move too slow? Me too! S T A R T over! Seriously, a video that states exactly how hard it really is would have been sooooo appreciated, but they all act like it is so easy to do, when it clearly is not. So, just so you know, it all about the truth here on CHARCOTCHACHA!! I am reporting this stuff as I learn it so that you can have a heads up!

HOME AGAIN, JIGGITY JIG, JIGGITY JIG!

Not sure where that is from, I think “The Three Little Pigs”…but anyhow that is how I feel, because I am indeed, back home again! Home and….overwhelmed! Nearly a whole year away from home, and I am now faced with stuff from a past life, actually. It is a bit surreal. My mom, (bless her soul,!!) has kept all my plants alive with her weekly visits to water, but last years spilt soup on the stovetop? Still waiting for me. So, it has been a week home of go-go-go, no WAY I could just sit back and relax. I actually have had more exercise in the last week than in the last 10 months! Which, would be great if I still were sticking to my 600 calorie a day bit…..but something about being home, now I want to E.A.T.

“I might get there faster if I just sit still and let the world rotate underneath me”…..

Ok, I just made that quote up, but it seems like it might actually be a bit quicker than my current method of mobility, which…is seriously lacking in it’s ability to get me ANYWHERE! (Oh, could you tell I am just slightly miffed about mobility? Well, it is sort of my own fault)…I had this “brilliant” brain fart of an idea…which should have been okay, but sometimes reality is not. I had been zipping about in my parents house, and later in the neighbor’s cottage in my transport wheelchair…it’s great for giving one the ability to get from A to Z relatively quick and easy, but with one serious drawback. (Or…a drawback to my “easy-to-irk” brain, that is!) The steering is in the two front wheels…if you scoot 2 inches forward, and impulsively want to now back up 2 inches (and this happens allllllll daaaaaaay long, BTW) your chair now has to spin those front wheels around, and they BONK INTO EVERYTHING within reach, duh, but life seems like damn near everything is within reach of those wheels! They bump into everything and cause massive 4 letter utterances to emit from my mouth, Lord have Mercy! So! Ok, deep breath, and let’s try to get smart about this, (I said to myself)….I sure as heck am not going to haul upstairs (and downstairs) my transport wheelchair everyday of my life, and there is really no need or point to purchasing a second one…so, HEY! I will purchase for myself a little, chic, white office chair for upstairs….it has two armrests so I can easily lift myself up, and 5 little wheels on the ends of a chic chrome base. Yeah! (Damn I am so smart, can I produce and sell this smart stuff??? ) Ok, well, don’t invest just yet….the chair I bought sure looks cute, but the minute I sat my considerable behind on it, I noticed it felt like I was sliding forward. The cheap chair actually is sloping forward and down…just slight enough to cause me to constantly pick my ass up and shove it back into the chair…and to make matters worse? I shoved off in eager anticipation, and went….about 2 inches.“ANCKHH!” (Epic fail noise) The wheels are not “easily maneuverable” like the ad said…my floors are polished granite, so with a good shove and a good chair, I should get about 6 feet of ground covered….this chair only gives me about 10 inches! Oh well, with any luck I will not be needing the thing much longer, right??!! (It is giving me a great stomach muscle workout, though!)

But it is so good to be back home…I’ve had so little idle time, and I am just amazed at what I can get accomplished (grocery store? Target? No problem!) and what I cannot accomplish; Take out my trash? Forget it, too hard. That’s what friends are for, though! 🙂 My washing machine decided it would not operate so hauled my clothes to a launder mat…then my neighbor fixed my washer with the reset button! (that was a cheap repair!) A cop car or ambulance broke the still of the morning today with it’s siren and was immediately followed by about 20 howling dogs of all size and shape for about 15 seconds and then dead silence again. Ha ha, I love my neighborhood!

Well ok, just wanted to give this update and let everyone know I am alright and enjoying being back home. I see the Doc this week so we’ll see what he has in store for me! (gulp!)

BUMPS IN THE ROAD!

Well, a few setbacks…my stairlift was supposed to be installed last week but someone measured wrong, so they didn’t have a long enough rail. I am so eager to get home, I can’t say it enough! My lovely little cottage has just gotten so small and there isn’t much to do there, so at home I can start painting again and sewing and going through my stuff. It is vital to stay busy! My doctor wants me to start light weight bearing in a few weeks, and I am scared stiff about my foot re-collapsing, which it can do at this stage. My foot looks really good though, all the sutures have healed and my foot is starting to look like a normal foot…it’s even starting to get an arch back, I think. I fell ill with some sort of gastrointestinal thing that left me wracked for 24 hours, but I am on the mend! Not 100%, but so much better. So, that is where I am at right now…sorry I am not being very forthcoming with info and insight, I am still feeling a bit under the weather. Hopefully next posting will come from HOME!!