Well, I had for some time now planned on writing this piece regarding my fears on my upcoming reconstruction surgery. But as I step into the final week prior to surgery (twice, now, since the first had to be rescheduled!), I find myself feeling surprisingly calm. Not sure why this is but perhaps it has to do with my having so much time to hash it all out in my mind. I tend to typically “worse-case-scenario” just about everything I am faced with, dissecting and analyzing every possible angle until when at last I confront whatever it is, it turns out never as bad, or as hard as I had expected. I hope I will be thinking this the day after surgery!
So here we are…my surgeon is about to attempt to escort my Charcot deformity onto the next bus out of town! I hope he is successful! He wants to visit briefly one more time prior to surgery, no doubt to remind me once again that there are no guarantee’s, that the risks of failure are high. (He loves to tell me that…can’t say I blame him, it’s a lot of pressure on him!) I’m doing the antimicrobial scrub daily to rid my skin of bacteria before they cut me open. (Though every time my mom’s shower curtain touches my body I wonder if I am reversing the treatment!!??) And do I have to tell you how damn hard it is standing in the shower with your walker? My parents don’t have a tub, but thankfully they have a walk-in shower, and I even had an old walker we saved just for the shower so I wouldn’t have to use the new one…they aren’t meant to be waterproof, ya’ know. So far so good.
I’m also doing a daily prayer, asking for assistance from God to see me through safely. I pray that my surgeon is bright, fresh and focused the day of my surgery! I pray that he is able to complete his repairs in one operation! I pray that the anesthesiologist is on top of his/her game and never fails to monitor my vital signs (even when they excuse themselves to go to the restroom)!! I pray that my nurses are alert and have a kind touch! And most importantly, I pray that my doctor is able to piece back together my many broken bones, large and small, that his fusions are set correctly and the bones heal and bond as we hope that they do. And I pray that when the time comes to put my weight on my foot and walk with it again, that it stays strong and carries me along…for years to come! AMEN!
I’ll post one more article before I go into surgery…just for fun, and to lighten the mood. I will write about one of my favorite things in the whole world: Paris, France! So stay tuned!
Cassandra, Charcotchacha copyright 2015