Not sure where that is from, I think “The Three Little Pigs”…but anyhow that is how I feel, because I am indeed, back home again! Home and….overwhelmed! Nearly a whole year away from home, and I am now faced with stuff from a past life, actually. It is a bit surreal. My mom, (bless her soul,!!) has kept all my plants alive with her weekly visits to water, but last years spilt soup on the stovetop? Still waiting for me. So, it has been a week home of go-go-go, no WAY I could just sit back and relax. I actually have had more exercise in the last week than in the last 10 months! Which, would be great if I still were sticking to my 600 calorie a day bit…..but something about being home, now I want to E.A.T.
“I might get there faster if I just sit still and let the world rotate underneath me”…..
Ok, I just made that quote up, but it seems like it might actually be a bit quicker than my current method of mobility, which…is seriously lacking in it’s ability to get me ANYWHERE! (Oh, could you tell I am just slightly miffed about mobility? Well, it is sort of my own fault)…I had this “brilliant” brain fart of an idea…which should have been okay, but sometimes reality is not. I had been zipping about in my parents house, and later in the neighbor’s cottage in my transport wheelchair…it’s great for giving one the ability to get from A to Z relatively quick and easy, but with one serious drawback. (Or…a drawback to my “easy-to-irk” brain, that is!) The steering is in the two front wheels…if you scoot 2 inches forward, and impulsively want to now back up 2 inches (and this happens allllllll daaaaaaay long, BTW) your chair now has to spin those front wheels around, and they BONK INTO EVERYTHING within reach, duh, but life seems like damn near everything is within reach of those wheels! They bump into everything and cause massive 4 letter utterances to emit from my mouth, Lord have Mercy! So! Ok, deep breath, and let’s try to get smart about this, (I said to myself)….I sure as heck am not going to haul upstairs (and downstairs) my transport wheelchair everyday of my life, and there is really no need or point to purchasing a second one…so, HEY! I will purchase for myself a little, chic, white office chair for upstairs….it has two armrests so I can easily lift myself up, and 5 little wheels on the ends of a chic chrome base. Yeah! (Damn I am so smart, can I produce and sell this smart stuff??? ) Ok, well, don’t invest just yet….the chair I bought sure looks cute, but the minute I sat my considerable behind on it, I noticed it felt like I was sliding forward. The cheap chair actually is sloping forward and down…just slight enough to cause me to constantly pick my ass up and shove it back into the chair…and to make matters worse? I shoved off in eager anticipation, and went….about 2 inches.“ANCKHH!” (Epic fail noise) The wheels are not “easily maneuverable” like the ad said…my floors are polished granite, so with a good shove and a good chair, I should get about 6 feet of ground covered….this chair only gives me about 10 inches! Oh well, with any luck I will not be needing the thing much longer, right??!! (It is giving me a great stomach muscle workout, though!)
But it is so good to be back home…I’ve had so little idle time, and I am just amazed at what I can get accomplished (grocery store? Target? No problem!) and what I cannot accomplish; Take out my trash? Forget it, too hard. That’s what friends are for, though! 🙂 My washing machine decided it would not operate so hauled my clothes to a launder mat…then my neighbor fixed my washer with the reset button! (that was a cheap repair!) A cop car or ambulance broke the still of the morning today with it’s siren and was immediately followed by about 20 howling dogs of all size and shape for about 15 seconds and then dead silence again. Ha ha, I love my neighborhood!
Well ok, just wanted to give this update and let everyone know I am alright and enjoying being back home. I see the Doc this week so we’ll see what he has in store for me! (gulp!)
-Cassandra, Charcotchacha copyright 2015